Taco Town

I could have sworn I posted this video before, but I couldn’t find it anywhere on my blog. It seems to come up all the time, maybe due to the types of links I post about food. Anyway, it’s a great SNL fake commercial about an awesome food item. (I apologize for the idiot laughing over the top of the video the whole time, I was too lazy to try to find a better one)

So what do you think? Who’s up for making one with me?

More Evie-isms

I think I passed a major milestone as a parent and I just wanted to blog it so that I didn’t forget this magical moment. Evie gave me my first “I don’t love you!” when I was trying to force her to go potty against her will. I imagine this will be the first of many, in fact, I’ve already gotten an “I don’t like you” since then.

There have been a few humorous ones as well:

“When Jen and Derek were here and Daddy catch me [by the face because I fell down the stairs because I was trying to look at Jen and Derek instead of watching where I was going]. I want to do it again!” She has made this statement many times and we’ve had many long talks about why we don’t want to fall down the stairs.

Thanks to Grandma Kathy, Evie insists that she needs to put her “deoder on” because she doesn’t want to “stink”. Sara spend quite a while convincing her she didn’t, in fact, stink.

Finally, this happened awhile ago, but Evie has a book in which a girl goes to the doctor with an injured arm. Knowing that Evie has vivid memories of her own trip to the doctor with an injured arm, Sara asked her, “Why is the girl crying?” Evie responded, “Because she has pony tails!”

In completely unrelated, horrific death news, a man died Wednesday after he fell into an 8 foot vat of molten chocolate. I had a lot of really bad jokes about death by chocolate, rogue oompa-loompas, etc. but I decided it was too soon.

Run Pee

Have you ever sat in a theater, needing to go to the bathroom so bad but trying to hold out for fear of missing a vital piece of the movie? Well, no more! I give you Run Pee.

This is so brilliant. Basically, you look up a movie you want to see and it gives you a little timeline with certain points marked out that are okay to run out of the theater during. Usually these are little scenes that are maybe character builders, but don’t really advance the plot in any way.

It will tell you something like, “An hour 23 into the movie, such and such a character walks into a room and says this” and then tells you, “You have 4 minutes.” So you can look through and find a suitable place to go. And here’s where it gets really brilliant, it will give you a little synopsis of the scene you are missing so you really don’t miss out on anything. But that synopsis is scrambled until you hit a button, so you can check it out without seeing any spoilers!

Myth Busted

I have it on good authority that if you ever lock your keys in your car, but you have one of those remote entry key fob things, you can actually have someone unlock your car through a cell phone. Basically you hold your phone up to the car and they push the key fob button on their end. The signal is transmitted through the phones and to the car, unlocking your doors. This was told to me by someone who claimed they had personally tried it and it works.

Well folks, I tried it and I’m here to say that you can’t unlock your car through your cell phone.

Sara’s keys were locked in my car so she called me at work and we tried it. With speaker phone, without speaker phone, holding it by the door, holding it by the dashboard. We even tried popping the trunk. I guess I should have just looked it up on Snopes first. According to them, if people tried it and it worked, the caller was probably just standing close enough to the car that the fob unlocked it normally, not through the phone.

Quite frankly, I’m disappointed. It seemed like it was just crazy enough to work. I always thought this was my secret ace in the hole in case my keys got locked in my car. My universe just got a little dimmer.

Now that’s what I call a vacation

We were visiting the family all last week and it was great! Plenty of relaxation, and plenty of good food. We were grilling out for practically every meal. Evie met some new doggies and kitties, we got some swimming in, played some card and board games, and even saw some fireworks. Everybody helped us watch Evie and did most of the food preparation, etc. so we didn’t have a whole lot to do.

There were some extra special highlights of the trips though:

We took Evie to see some buffalo on a farm by my dad’s house. It was pretty cool, there were lots of babies. Our fun was cut short, however, when someone drove by and threw firecrackers out the window at us. When they went off, they scared us (and the buffalo) half to death. I felt bad for poor Evie who doesn’t even really know what firecrackers are! The buffalo wouldn’t come back over by us after that.

We got a ton of fresh blackberries (mulberries? There seems to be some debate) picked off the vast expanse of pricker bushes lining my dad’s estate. I’m eating some now actually!

We did some more garage sale-ing and found some good buys on Evie clothes, puzzles and toys. This taught me a new fun game, which is checking the rummage sale listings in a small town newspaper to see what you can find. My all time favorite was one that listed “guns” for sale, but I appreciated many more items such as, “Plus size ladies clothes, Harley Davidson and Nascar.” After you’re done laughing at those you can flip over to the real estate section and cry at the ridiculously low prices.

Sara and I snuck out to see a movie to celebrate our anniversary. We saw Public Enemies staring Johnny Depp, which was good and entertaining but didn’t change my life or anything. This was only the second time we’ve seen a movie in the theater since Evie was born, upping our average to one a year.

On the way home we stopped at the Albanese Candy Factory. We have always wondered about it when we passed it on the highway, so we decided to go in and see what it was about. We didn’t do a tour or anything, but we still had a very enjoyable little stop! There is a huge chocolate fountain inside and an absolutely ridiculous selection of bulk candy, which I assume is made on the premises. We bought some truffles, chocolate toffee pecans and something else that Sara picked out which I can’t remember but was just as good as the other two. They also have free samples! Evie screamed about wanting more chocolate the rest of the way home. All in all, it basically reminds me of the Chocolate Castle, with more of a candy selection, but less classy.

Despite being able to relax, it was still somewhat exhausting to be away from home and everything. Exhausting enough that I literally fell asleep waiting for a traffic light to turn green when we were on the way home. Good thing I woke up Sara to keep me company shortly before that!

Finally, for all you haters out there (and those on facebook), I give you a goat on a trampoline:

5 years down, 100 (or so) to go

Today celebrates the 5 best years of my life! 

Every year that we’ve been together has been better than the previous year; I guess we’re picking up a certain momentum. It doesn’t seem very sustainable that every year can be better than the last, but, as crazy as it seems, I really think that it just might be possible.

I love you Sara and I love the life that we’ve made together!

Happy 4th

Enjoy the weekend with the American tradition this country was founded on…blowing things up.

Godzillionaire

There is a humorous blog I read by the annoyingly named comedian Myq Kaplan (that’s right, his name is Mike spelled Myq) called Godzillionaire. It is kind of hard to explain what this blog is. It’s like a play on words where you combine two words together and then explain why that’s funny. See, there’s just no way to describe it that sounds funny, so I will give you some examples:

Sudan.
Danza.
Sudanza.

One of the worst things in history, PLUS genocide in Darfur.

Please help stop these atrocities.

or

Know.
Nothing.
Knowthing.

Socrates and Confucius both claimed that true knowledge was in knowing the extent of one’s ignorance.

So if they DIDN’T know that, then they would have been even wiser.

Socrates.
Confucius.
So Confused.

I’ll give you another one:

Adultery.
Terrycloth.
Adulterrycloth.

Using a towel that isn’t yours.

Philander.
Drying.
Philandrying.

Well I don’t care what you say, I think it’s funny.

2 Stories

Last night I fell asleep on the couch at about 8:30, so by the time I got up and went to bed at around midnight, Sara had been sleeping for quite some time. As I crept in to the bedroom and slowly and quietly closed the door behind me, Sara sat bolt upright in bed and yelled, “Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!” I threw the door open and leapt to the side like some sort of action hero. “What?” I asked in a panic. “Evie was peeing in the night,” Sara said and went back to sleep.

As we were driving through the middle of nowhere today, Evie was getting a little restless. In order to keep her occupied, we were pointing out things on the side of the road for her to see. “Look Evie, there are some horses out Mommy’s window!” “Look, here’s a barn!” Suddenly, I saw, I kid you not, a goat on a trampoline. Nobody will believe me about this, but it was for real. It’s not like he was jumping or anything, someone just had a pet goat and one of those huge backyard trampolines, and the goat was sitting on it. I was extremely tempted to go back and take a picture, but I didn’t, so you’ll just have to belive me on this.

Pizza Delivery

Did you ever want to eat a pizza, but just couldn’t find the time? Said to yourself, I’ll just stop and get a bite on the way? Well now, there is no reason to have to decide between driving and eating pizza, I give you the Porta-Pizza Oven:

Might I add that it only costs $36! I’m not sure about the scale of that picture though, assuming the cigarette lighter plug thing isn’t abnormally large, that can’t be bigger than a personal pan pizza. And even then it’s sort of spilling out of the thing.

Oh well, I’m sure I could still put it to good use. If nothing else, pop tarts!